What does Platinum Dunes & Freddy Krueger have in common? They are both molesters. Freddy Kruger molested little children and Platinum Dunes molested my favorite childhood horror movies. If you felt that you were slapped in the face by the studio cock with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre & Friday The 13th remakes. (Both by Platinum Dunes) Then you are going to feel like you took a huge load up your ass without any lubrication by this horrible retread of a classic horror masterpiece . Yes, the movie is that bad !!!.. The film has only 2 good things I can say about it. It looks great, but no matter how well you dress up a turd, it’s still a turd. The other thing that was good was Freddy’s new look. Great make up and well played by Jackie Earle Haley. That’s it, though. The movie as a whole completely blows and I can’t help but be quite pissed off at this movie, mainly because the original and it’s sequels were a big part of my love for movies growing up.
Let me first say that I am not putting any of the blame on Jackie Earle Haley, If Freddy had to be recast for this new reboot, he is really a good choice but I wish if they were going to try and keep the tone of the original film, they should have kept the Freddy with quips out of this film. Also, change it up a bit, the movie plays out almost exactly as the original. If you are going to remake a film, make it different. Do not have the same characters die the same way they did in the original, there are a few small changes but not enough. If you feel I spoiled the movie for you….Well, Good !!! I just saved you $10 and you can thank me later.
A good horror movie should have characters that are fun to watch. There were allot of them in the 80’s. But now you just get good looking people that look like they just walked over to the set from some TV show on the CW and they have no personality (I am talking about you Katie Cassidy from the new Melrose Place) Cassidy plays Tina..ooops…I mean she plays Kris. (Tina was her character’s name in the original film) The name may have changed but the death scene is almost exactly the same. I found the casting of Nancy (Rooney Mara) to be a really poor choice.
Now we come to one of the biggest problems with the film (aside from is not being scary at all) Which is they are spending the entire film having Freddy trying to get these teenagers to go and find out the truth about what really happened to him and how they are all connected to him. You really do not need to have everything spelled out for you in a horror film like this. All you need at the very most is for one random adult to tell the kids. Freddy was a child molester and your parents killed him. That’s it. The rest now be played out. I found this film to be so boring and all the fun has be completely drained from the film. Watching the new A Nightmare On Elm Street was a nightmare in its self.
By Marc Ferman
By Marc Ferman
